More and more, trauma is being understood in two distinct categories: incidental trauma and complex trauma.  Incidental trauma is experienced in a time limited way, such as a car accident, natural disaster, crime victimization, etc.  We experience such incidental traumas for a certain amount of time and then they end.  We are left to figure out what happened to us, why it happened to us, and often feel powerless to do anything to change the feelings of helplessness we are left with.

Complex trauma is experienced over a more sustained period of time, and with each time we experience it, we fear that things will never change, that there is nothing we can do to stop it from happening again..  Childhood physical abuse and sexual abuse are prime examples of this, as are domestic violence, war, etc.  Other examples include religious cults, emotional violence in an intimate relationship, and emotional neglect or cutoff.

Simply put, trauma is experienced when we feel that our life or well-being is threatened and that there is nothing we can do to stop it.  It does not matter whether in reality we can or cannot stop it; it is our perception of our ability to put an end to the threat that determines whether we will experience trauma.  Frequently, the age at which we experience the victimization determines whether we will be traumatized.

Traumatized reactions are many and diverse; rarely do two people cope with the same trauma the same way.  However, if you have been traumatized, you may experience many of the following struggles:

• Depression
• Anxiety and panic
• Anger and irritability
• Eating problems or disorders
• Self-destructive behavior
• Withdrawal and isolation
• Relationship problems
• Inability to trust others
• Sexual dysfunctions
• Body shame and body image distortions
• Sleep problems and disorders
• Obsessive and/or compulsive behaviors
• Suicidal thoughts and/or attempts
• Flashbacks and intruding thoughts/memories
  
• Seeing the world as bad and dangerous
• “Black and White” thinking
• Perfectionism
• Hyper-vigilance (always being on the ‘look out’)
• Stress-related illness
• Spiritual issues
• Dissociation (mentally and emotionally removing yourself from an unwanted situation; ‘spacing out’)
• Addictions (alcohol, drugs, food and exercise, sex, work, relationships, video games, shopping)
• Being stuck in the role of victim (passivity, over-willingness to accept/place blame)

 Seeing with a therapist trained to work with trauma related issues can be itself a scary process.  You may be wondering whether you will have to recall the details of your abuse and what will come up for you.  It may feel like you have had to up a damn for a long time, and you are afraid that in seeing a therapist, they are going to forcibly remove it. 

You can relax.  Working with me around your trauma related struggles is just the opposite.  I work with you to develop safety first and foremost, and let you know right up front that I am not going to push you to do anything that feels unsafe.  I work with you to gain experiences of success and help you integrate them into who you are.  With each stage and each little success, we will step back and evaluate what its like to experience yourself in different ways.  If there are topics or ways of expressing yourself you have struggled with, we address them one at a time at your pace.  Some describe the process as dipping your toe into the unknown waters and then pulling it out again; each time you do so, you gain a little more confidence to start putting more of your toe, your foot, your leg, etc. into the water without getting overwhelmed.

Recovering from trauma is process that empowers you, where you learn how to soothe yourself, and ultimately where you gain mastery over thoughts and feelings to which you have long felt like a victim. 

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